Equal Parts of Lullabies & Logos.

I just became an Aunt - again! And, I finally feel as if I had a break through in my quarter-life crisis era.

My older brother and his wife welcomed into the world my first niece (weighing 6 lbs. 13 oz & 19.5" long) which paired quite well with my wild 3 1/2 year old nephew that so patiently was awaiting her arrival - patiently used lightly, as it was a much longer wait than he would've cared for. He loves his baby sister BIG and if you think you will sneak in any baby snuggles when he is in the vicinity, good luck.

Drexxley Todd Lewis | July 18, 8:21 a.m.

We approached the hospital room, me with tears streaming down my face seeing Tanner hold her so tenderly, while Draxxin ran to the bed to meet his baby sister with his spurs clanking every short step of the way. It was one of those surreal moments, getting to witness something so sacred. Draxx was born during the covid year(s) and not being able to go in and see him felt a bit like I was getting robbed on the first time 'aunt duties,' especially when he and I are basically birthday buddies. The purity of a newborn brings about a new sense of clarity — and oh honey, did I have one of those awakenings I've been waiting for.

Holding sweet baby girl in my arms cleared up a lot of thoughts, feelings and ideas that have been circulating in my mind the past couple of months. The big one, that I always seem to get stuck on and continue to ask myself frequently: "What is my purpose?" I mean goodness gracious people, being 25 now, I feel as if I should know the answer to this one already. Standing in the hospital room was solidifying the feeling of always being behind watching my friends and family reach new milestones. Though, I've decided to restructure how I view that question as I believe my purpose is only going to continue to evolve and be ever-changing depending on what stage of life I'm in but one that will always have the constant factor of being faith-based. I owe it to myself to do something with the efforts that I've diligently been working on to become a better version of myself as I continue to intentionally work towards becoming her daily.

Because, let's make this clear - it is and will continue to be a daily practice for me.

I'm a very strong-willed, outspoken and occasionally fiery tempered female. I was raised with and around a majority of men and boys my whole life - I do not come from a place to sit behind a screen and try to tell you that I am someone you should strive to be. I hope you aren't here for that reason or you will be disappointed because I can assure you, I'm not that girl. No, no, no. I will only ever speak from my personal experiences in hopes that they might resonate with one, two or a few of you.

In full transparency, being lady-like was something my parents realized they needed to teach me in a hurry when I approached the age where I began to 'transition into a woman,' and this girl had a lot to learn. If you know my mother, you know she prides herself on getting out of the door within 5 minutes. No need for a face, air dry the hair type of vibes, alright? My mother is as tom boy as it gets, yet, she was my biggest supporter of some very questionable fashionista style trends I was a little too eager to dabble in. At a young age, I was (mostly) allowed to wear what made me happy just as my momma always preached for me to do despite the judgement from the men in the house when my long legs weren't as easily to hide in the pants that we spend hours shopping for and battling the voices in our heads in the dressing rooms.

Back on topic to what I'm really here to say, I dedicate so much of my time trying to sponge so much of everything around me as I most definitely realize the value and importance of learning from the people in my life - elders, colleagues, friends & family - through books, experience, social media, etc. but I have not yet been able to find my own niche in my personal brand. I feel as if I have emptied a part of myself by pouring so much of my creative side into other projects. Is this a bad thing? Absolutely not. I will continue to drain myself to make a buck as that's just the work ethic I have instilled in me. However, I don't want that to be an excuse for me to not fulfill my hopes and desires to do the things that fill my heart.

View collection: https://brlewis99.wixsite.com/bailey-raye/library

After a whole lot of praying, for what I didn't know would become an entire personal branding scheme, I believe my purpose is to create a safe space around me, whether through my book collection I have created on my website, personal stories through my blogs or my soon to be released "Passion Project" — I just want individuals to feel seen and inspired to embrace their own journeys while being able to relate to someone that possibly has or is, rowing the same way up shits creek. I once emailed a professor in college and told him I was in a boat that was full of holes and I needed to know if he was going to help me patch my holes or watch me sink. He extended the project deadline for me with ample amount of days and made sure that I did in fact, stay afloat. I just want to lend the tools that have helped me patch the holes in my lifeboat.

I genuinely believe that I could have gotten to this point a lot sooner if I wasn't so caught up in others opinions. I let it dictate my decision making to the point where I knew a few of my "close" friends would look down on me for doing something of this nature and if I wouldn't of picked up the phone to call business-minded people that I admire and look up to, I wouldn't have gotten the courage to even start this process. My Father is just now starting his own Passion Project per say (one that we are so excited to see pan out for him) and if he is going to charge forth with a new business adventure at his age, there is no reason that I can't follow the things that I feel called to do.

Being an Aunt isn’t just about showing up — it’s about showing the way.

Though, I don't have a business strategy here - that is not what this is for me. I will one day in the near future have my little Passion Project available for purchase; however, it is not a money making scheme by any means but just an added benefit for hopefully what I consider my personal target audience: all of you.

BR Prairie Collection, is my online library of personal books that I wanted to house in a way that anyone with the desire to read can reflect on my curated list or reach out to borrow a book (I send fun things with them just so you know!) After realizing the books that I've been gravitating towards in my twenties are a mix of honest guidance and hard truths, I wanted a way to share them with all of you. Some offering advice for the road ahead, others reminding me that life’s beauty is often tangled up in its tragedy from past experiences and seeking that something to help me understand or make it through.

There's always more than one way, but I am finally going to do things the Bailey Raye way that I have longed to be able to create and share with you all. The fact that sharing this with all of you makes me nervous tells me it matters — and that I’m exactly where I’ve been asking God to lead me. Thank you for your love and support as I continue to find my footing while attempting to feed and fuel my soul with the things that make me, ME!

xx.

-BR