Everyone's quick to talk about success, but what about the rest?

I don't know about you personally, but for me, I would much rather discuss my success with an individual than talk about what led me to that point of success.

Or at least, I thought. Throughout my college years, I failed a lot. I'm talking relationships, friendships, assignments, in my parents' eyes and in my own, work, etc. Though, when I look back and reflect on what helped me the most through those difficult times, it was reaching out and discussing what situation I was in, with someone who could give me a look from the outside. I'm hard-headed, I hate reaching out, I hate discussing my feelings, I hate putting my bothers on someone else's shoulders.

I reached a point of clarity in the concept of knowing how much I like to distract myself from my problems by helping other people get through theirs. I have learned to communicate my experiences and use social media in a way that allows me to connect and hopefully, help someone going through a similar situation. This has all lead me to the realization that communicating and interacting in true conversations about those struggles is the reason that I made it through those obstacles that I was faced with. It all comes down to understanding that there are people who want to listen, share advice, and help guide you through those situations.

Be open. I'm not saying share everything with people that you think are in your corner, because believe me, not everyone stays and figuring out who actually is in your circle to help you become a better version of yourself is very important and everyones true colors show eventually. I'm saying, reach out to those people that you look up to, or that you know have encountered a similar situation. The individuals that you look up to for their success in their careers, the ones that reflect the type of individual that you are working towards being and the qualities that they possess that you are trying to embody.

Explain the situation that your facing in a way that you are comfortable talking about. For example, using "I" instead of naming names, and avoiding "he/she, they" has helped me tremendously. The first step in self improvement - self reflection. Taking that time to sit down, and reflect on where you are and where you want to be, is so important. Not easy, I never said that.

I always reach a better point of self realization when I am able to see my situation I'm in from someone else's point of view, and that is why I firmly believe that by reaching out and having those discussions and conversations that may be uncomfortable, will help you reach that point of reflection. In society today, it is so easy to look at the screen in front of you, and only see what that person is wanting you to see. I'm telling you, no one wants people to see them at a low, that isn't what we are most proud of.

My freshman year of college, if you needed me, I was likely incoherent at a party singing along to some red-dirt country artist at the top of my lungs double fisting. The people I was surrounded by, were not there to help me figure out how I was going to manage the stress of working two jobs, be a full time student, and live a social life. They were apart of my life to help me forget about it. I'm very thankful for this part of my life, and all the individuals I made a connection with, but I wouldn't necessarily say I'm proud of it. It just helped me get through that 'party-stage' of my life a little sooner by getting it all out of my system at once.

What was it that led me to be the individual that I am now, 3 years down the road? Hard conversations. The "Mom, I'm not the person I want to be and I'm not proud of it." The "Friend, I need help getting back into my faith in Christ, and I don't know if sitting in the pew is really speaking to me the way that I need it to." The "Advisor, I'm not sure if I honestly enjoy my animal science classes the way that I thought I once would."

I had a tough break-up, I loved harder than I thought I could, and laid in my bed for a week and a half with a heart that hurt because I didn't understand where I went wrong. I told only my side of my relationship, and made it out to be so much better than it was and when I started actually discussing the things I didn't want in a relationship, and got out of bed and started focusing on what I wanted. I started surrounding myself with friends that wanted to see me be successful. Actually succeed, and not dancing on a table top to some Shania Twain. I started focusing on bettering my relationship with the Lord again and watching Red Rocks Church (I highly recommend - thank you Miss Olivia Ary), and began reading a chapter out of a book every night before bed. If you are a young woman unsure of what is next for you after college, 'Everything will be okay, by Dana Perino' is so far a great read!

To wrap this up, don't be afraid about hitting those low points in life, because I promise there is light on the other side. Have those conversations and seek out advice from people that you look up to. Remember that you aren't the first to have this problem - and you are not alone. Find what makes you happy, and actually do it. The little things, like making your bed every morning, making a cup of hot tea before bed and reading a chapter out of your book, start writing again, open that Bible by your bed. Start little, start somewhere. Find joy in becoming that best version of yourself that you want to be, but actually do the things that work you towards that point of success within yourself. And always remember, you have family and friends that you can turn to that want to see you succeed.

xx

-BR